I know I have mentioned it before, but I lost all the pictures that we took the day that Hannah was born. (The hospital gave us a disposable camera) I honestly don't think I have seen them for years. I have no idea where to look. I have looked everywhere time and time again. But still, they are lost.
Tonight, I suddenly had the urgency to find them! I must find them tonight. That is all that I have thought about all day (and well... for the past 3.5+ years). All day I imagined looking for the photos and finding them and writing a nice post with a new picture of my beautiful daughter to post with it. A picture of our little family together. Maybe heal my heart a little.
I can't find them.
I have searched all the places that I have searched a million times and they still aren't there. (There aren't many places to search in our house). I would stay up all night looking, if I knew where to look.
It always makes me completely sick. Physically sick. How could I possibly lose the only pictures of my daughter? (We still have the ones the hospital took, thankfully) I mean really, where could they have gone? Did we leave them at our previous house? Should I go knock on the door and ask? Can I really go another year without finding them? After 4 years, I thought we would find them. I need to find them.
With or without pictures...
Happy Angel Day my baby. I love you so much. I can't wait to be with you again.
I thought this year would be easier. I thought after 4 years my heart has begun to heal. I know we will be with her again and I know she is with all of our many loved ones that have passed on. How can I be sad? And here I sit bawling like a baby because I can't find my pictures.
I can't believe it's been 4 years.
12 comments:
Yes-go knock on the door and ask! My thoughts are with you today.
happy birthday sweet Hannah. I can't wait to meet you. I know you and Spencer are together in Heaven!
Kamie, I am so sorry are unable to find pictures of Hannah. I hope and pray that they turn up. I cant even imagine what you must be going through on a day like today not to look at pictures of your BEAUTIFUL baby girl.
Please know that we are thinking of you today. We love you both so much. Our heart aches for you in the pain and loss of your precious baby girl. Hopefully one day we can all truly know why these babies were taken from us prematurely. Just know that God loves you and is there for you in time of sorrow and pain.
Do something special just you and Dustyn today in rememberance of Hannah.
we love you!!
I agree with Heather...go knock on the door! =)
That would make me sick too! I can't imagine. I'm thinking of you, and goin' to pray for you to find them.
Ya, I would totally go knock on the door and ask! How frustrating! I hope you find them.
Yes, it is perfectly normal to still feel sad. Especially on an anniversary date like today. It's ok to cry - definitely ok. I've shed a few tears for you today, too.
I can't imagine how hard it would be to not have pictures of her. That alone would make me bawl. I will be praying that you find them. And I DEFINITELY think you should go knock on the door. Call your old landlord or something. Keep praying and I know you'll find them one day.
We are thinking of you today. And more importantly, we are remembering Hannah today. Happy Birthday Hannah. We love you.
We are all sad today with you, Kamie. Even the knowledge of our Heavenly Father's plan doesn't make the sadness go away completely. Happy Hannah Day! Think of the celebration going on in heaven right now...
Kamie, you've been in my thoughts and prayers all day. Please know that my heart aches with yours. Love and hugs to you.
I thought you were already in your current house??? Would they be at mom and dads for some reason? You are in our prayers as always and pray you will find them. Been thinking about you alot today... hope you are doing alright. CamRee even remembered to mention Happy Birthday to Hannah when she awoke this morning excited about her big day as well. She loves sharing birthdays with her and talks about her and that she is probably having fun in heaven too. Thanks for your cute post about her she will love it!
I'm so sorry that you can't find your pictures...good luck locating them. You are in my prayers.
Kamie, I am totally crying right now. I am so sad with you:-( I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. All I can say is that we know we will see our loved ones again. Hannah was to perfect for this world! Happy Hannah Day! I love and miss you so much!
Kamie,
I am so sorry to hear that you have lost lose pictures of your precious baby. In November it will be the one year since I lost my precious Tyler. I haven't been able to pull the box down to look at his pictures, it's just too hard still. I know that when my due date came I had to try and stay busy but when bedtime came and the house was quiet it was hard to be unable to hold him. My heart aches for you at this time. Have you read the book Emma? It's about Emma Smith and her children that she lost. It is comforting to know that we will be able to have them again and raise them. Keep looking for those pictures, they will show up.
Lori
I am so sorry that you can't find your pictures. I hope you find them soon. Hannah was such a beautiful little girl. I know she is watching over you now and trying to help you through.
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