Dustyn's rambling thoughts

Hi everyone! Ever since Kamie started this blog I've sat in the background letting her do what she wants to with it even though my name is in the heading. I thought that I'd take a chance and write some words thanking you for your support, and maybe a few extra things as well.
Kamie and I are so thankful for the love and support we have received from our family and friends. You've been great. You've had our back and helped us in so many ways. I usually don't say thanks, but Thanks. We love you for what you are doing to help us. This past month or so has been stressful on so many levels for us and we have kinda ignored many of you, or so it would seem. Our emotions and thoughts have pushed us to the limits so many times that we feel like we are on the verge of a melt down any second. Sometimes we don't have it all together to talk to you at the moment. We try to communicate to everyone through the blog, but that’s hard too, because we can't get our thoughts just right, or be as candid with our thoughts (you know, privacy issues). But I hope all of you know how grateful we are to you. I am most grateful for Kamie's father, Rick. I've always wanted a dad around, and even though I have one so to speak, it’s nice to know that you are there for us constantly. I'm grateful for what you do for us!
I know many of you are concerned for us too. Some have expressed this verbally, or just in the tone of their voice or writings. We appreciate your concern.
In the beginning, as Kam and I talked about adoption we were excited about what could happen to our little family. We also knew that there were risks involved in the whole process. We were laying it all on the line, and knew that there were people out there who would try to take advantage of our situation. We knew that we didn't want to turn our adoption into a shopping experience. We weren't out looking to adopt like you buy a car. Our hearts and the hearts of others were on the line. We knew that though we had expectations of what we would like to happen, it probably wouldn't. That has been hard for us at times. Trying to figure out what we could or should be learning from our experiences. I didn't always like having to go through that. It was all very hard for us in the beginning.
Then we started talking to birth mothers. That was exciting! But definitely hard. We were putting ourselves out there even more and it was difficult because anything could happen. And a lot of it did. We have experienced a rush of excitement and then complete and utter devastation all in one day, sometimes in a few short hours. That was hard, but we learned that we could deal with that challenge and move on as stronger and more cautious people. When we started talking to Hilary things changed.
When we first talking to Hilary we knew there were risks. We felt that she was a good person who we would like to be friends with. We worked on a relationship of trust with her. We wanted to be her friend and if by some chance we could adopt her Gremlin, then that was her choice and not something we were going to persuade her to do.
Kam and I have tried to seek the help and counsel of others during this experience. And people have freely given it to us. But most of all I wanted the guidance of the Spirit. We have always felt that no matter what, things would work out. We don't know how or when or in what way, but we know they will work out. That has been our thoughts and feelings on this matter. It gets hard when others try to tell us things that are contrary to what we have directed. We sometimes get confused and upset with you. But one of us always remembers what we have been directed to do.
So to those of you who worry about us in whatever way it is, don't sweat it. I know where we should be. I know what is in store for my little family, and I understand that it seems insensible as to what we are doing, but when did the unknown ever make sense. We're just trying to do what we know is the best for our little family. I hope that you will support us in what we are doing.
If this doesn't make complete sense that’s ok. They are my thoughts; I've censored them to an extent because some things are just not meant to be on the web. Again we are thankful for all of your support and love.